I finally got the social worker to answer my call.The hospital I was trying to have evaluate Craig's meds say he's not in crisis, so no help.She also says there are no psychiatrists that will take his medical card except the one I don't want to see him anymore.
Wednesday, I am excited.I am going to a support group meeting for the first time. I arrive early, as usual.I meet the gentleman running the group, and several others also arrive.We each tell about our loved ones and our situation, and tell what we need from this meeting.
The others are caregivers for a family member at home, so their situation is different. When I tell my story, I say I am looking for help in getting my husband better care.
I guess I spend a lot of time researching and talking to others, because I seem to know things that are still questions for the others.
The gentleman running the meeting gives me his card and some literature, and suggests that I call the local chapter for advise, and perhaps consider the idea of stating a support group for
Early Onset families.
I tell him I would be glad to help others that find themselves in this unusual circumstance, but that I think that it will be the new wave of AD patients soon.
Thursday, I get a call at work. The speech therapist is calling.I am confused. She tells me that Craig is having difficulty chewing his food, and they are going to ask the doctor to put him on a soft diet. Another step........
I stop on the way from work and buy soft foods for him. He has bruises and nicks on his left hand and wrist again, but laughs when I ask if he hurt himself. He laughs a lot these days.
I think he laughs when he doesn't understand.
The aide brings in his regula dinner, but he picks and insists on getting back to his unending walking. I kiss him goodbye, and he tells me he really likes me.........
I need to find time to call the local chapter soon.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Father's Day
It's been a while since I had the time or the energy to post.
Called the nursing home Friday and left a message for the social worker asking about the referral to the hospital for Craig's meds and to ask about the treatment plan meeting which they scheduled for the last day of July.
Let's start with how can you go over a treatment plane for someone who's treatment is in limbo?
And to schedule it during the last day of the month for someone in accounting? Almost like they don't want me there.
Waited all day, no return call.
Spent all day Saturday catching up laundry I haven't done so sis could get ready for vacation.
Argued with sons about visiting their Dad. Older one says makes him too angry to see the way his dad is treated. Younger one says he doesn't like him and won't go. Try to explain that soon he won't know them, and nothing.
Calls from 2 of my friends to see how I'm doing this week. Nice to know someone cares. Nothing from family as usual.
Father's day is here, and I package up the new beard and mustache trimmer and head out.
Stop at store, buy ice cream, chocolate milk and pudding.
Arrive at nursing home and he's not in his room, but roommate says Craig told him "he lost everything because he was a bad father".
Found him walking as usual. Still trying to understand why he turns and walks away when I call his name. I wish him happy father's day, and he asks me why his wife doesn't come to see him anymore.Sigh.......
I tell him I am his wife and get him to the room with the word chocolate. I trim his hair and shave his neck. Then we try to trim the mustache. After a minute or so, starts fidgeting so stop.
He says it 's pulling hairs. Dinner arrives.I think how much will he eat after all that chocolate stuff? He eats almost everything!
I am amazed that he has sat with me for almost 2 hours without leaving.Now he is up and walking again, so I say my good byes, get a kiss and head out to grocery shop.
I wait all day Monday, and STILL no call back from the social worker. Call the local AD support group for directions. There is a meeting Wednesday night, so I will make my 1st trip to a support meeting this week.
Called the nursing home Friday and left a message for the social worker asking about the referral to the hospital for Craig's meds and to ask about the treatment plan meeting which they scheduled for the last day of July.
Let's start with how can you go over a treatment plane for someone who's treatment is in limbo?
And to schedule it during the last day of the month for someone in accounting? Almost like they don't want me there.
Waited all day, no return call.
Spent all day Saturday catching up laundry I haven't done so sis could get ready for vacation.
Argued with sons about visiting their Dad. Older one says makes him too angry to see the way his dad is treated. Younger one says he doesn't like him and won't go. Try to explain that soon he won't know them, and nothing.
Calls from 2 of my friends to see how I'm doing this week. Nice to know someone cares. Nothing from family as usual.
Father's day is here, and I package up the new beard and mustache trimmer and head out.
Stop at store, buy ice cream, chocolate milk and pudding.
Arrive at nursing home and he's not in his room, but roommate says Craig told him "he lost everything because he was a bad father".
Found him walking as usual. Still trying to understand why he turns and walks away when I call his name. I wish him happy father's day, and he asks me why his wife doesn't come to see him anymore.Sigh.......
I tell him I am his wife and get him to the room with the word chocolate. I trim his hair and shave his neck. Then we try to trim the mustache. After a minute or so, starts fidgeting so stop.
He says it 's pulling hairs. Dinner arrives.I think how much will he eat after all that chocolate stuff? He eats almost everything!
I am amazed that he has sat with me for almost 2 hours without leaving.Now he is up and walking again, so I say my good byes, get a kiss and head out to grocery shop.
I wait all day Monday, and STILL no call back from the social worker. Call the local AD support group for directions. There is a meeting Wednesday night, so I will make my 1st trip to a support meeting this week.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Murphy's Law
Tuesday Morning I woke to the alarm, pulled myself out of bed, and headed for the bathroom.
What is the puddle on the floor? Seems someone stuffed something behind the garbage cans and turned off the upright freezer! Turn freezer back on, cat's are howling for breakfast and attention.
No coffee! walk to living room to ask about freezer, both kids sound asleep.
Make coffee, feed cats, curse , get dressed and head to work.
Call home at 11 am, sons says "just throw it all out". I say maybe you can go without eating for a few months to make up for the food that thawed. Silence.
Finish work, run home. Check freezer contents, and pull contents that are questionable.
Wash dishes, cook the questionable meat, wash more dishes.
Text chat buddy to tell her my day sucks, end up on phone.Listen more than talk. Sorry have to get off phone to run errand. Onto chat. Everyone deserts me. Back to phone.
Here voice at back door, brother looking for company I think.
Give him some of the thawed meat, shower and to bed.
Wednesday morning grab things to take to Nursing home after work. Remote I bought for the roommate, and snacking food. morning routine and off to work.
Realize that batteries are needed for the remote, so stop at dollar store. One register open, stand in line for half an hour. debit card reader will not work. Cashier says " do you have another payment method?". "No" would you like me to hold them while you go to the bank? "No, I would like my things after standing in line." well I can't fix the machine! In the mean time, the newly opened cash register is checking everyone thru WITH their debit card.
I think to myself " I wonder if common sense is part of the PHD program, since no one seems to have it anymore".
On to the hardware store next door, buy batteries at twice the price and rush to the NH for dinner time.
Found hubby walking the halls again. He is so pale! It takes me 3 tries to get his attention.
I have to take him by the hand to get him to his room, promosing him coffee when he gets there.
The aide drops and runs, and I sit down to help him with dinner.
Plastic wrap is the enemy of AZ patients! Craig cannot figure out why he cant pick up his roll.
I ask him if he wants me to put sugar and milk in his coffee. He says yes, but picks up the cup, with the lid still on, and tries to drink.
After several tries, I get him to put it down to take the lid off and 2 more tries before I get the sugar and milk in . I unwrap his food. he picks up the spoon, and tries to pick up food, but pushes it all over his tray, I cut it up with the fork, and he gets it onto the spoon, but can't maneuver it into his mouth and reverts to his fingers.
I am trying to get napkins into place to catch the overflow, and trying to convince him to try the spoon again.
Finally, he has had enough and gets up, walking in place again. Iask if he doesn't want to visit with me and he sits down, they lays back on the bed.
I place his pillow under his head, sit next to him and hold his hand. I remind him that I always said he had beautiful eyes, and that he should let the eye doctor get him glasses so he can see mine. he grabs my sleeve and stares at me. He says he likes my shirt. I tell him I got it in India when I was there. More blank stare.
Now up and walking again, I tell him I need to go home to make dinner for the boys.I ask for a kiss, and I get 2 ( and a grope).
Another day of watching him be ignored by the NH staff. I am so sad......
What is the puddle on the floor? Seems someone stuffed something behind the garbage cans and turned off the upright freezer! Turn freezer back on, cat's are howling for breakfast and attention.
No coffee! walk to living room to ask about freezer, both kids sound asleep.
Make coffee, feed cats, curse , get dressed and head to work.
Call home at 11 am, sons says "just throw it all out". I say maybe you can go without eating for a few months to make up for the food that thawed. Silence.
Finish work, run home. Check freezer contents, and pull contents that are questionable.
Wash dishes, cook the questionable meat, wash more dishes.
Text chat buddy to tell her my day sucks, end up on phone.Listen more than talk. Sorry have to get off phone to run errand. Onto chat. Everyone deserts me. Back to phone.
Here voice at back door, brother looking for company I think.
Give him some of the thawed meat, shower and to bed.
Wednesday morning grab things to take to Nursing home after work. Remote I bought for the roommate, and snacking food. morning routine and off to work.
Realize that batteries are needed for the remote, so stop at dollar store. One register open, stand in line for half an hour. debit card reader will not work. Cashier says " do you have another payment method?". "No" would you like me to hold them while you go to the bank? "No, I would like my things after standing in line." well I can't fix the machine! In the mean time, the newly opened cash register is checking everyone thru WITH their debit card.
I think to myself " I wonder if common sense is part of the PHD program, since no one seems to have it anymore".
On to the hardware store next door, buy batteries at twice the price and rush to the NH for dinner time.
Found hubby walking the halls again. He is so pale! It takes me 3 tries to get his attention.
I have to take him by the hand to get him to his room, promosing him coffee when he gets there.
The aide drops and runs, and I sit down to help him with dinner.
Plastic wrap is the enemy of AZ patients! Craig cannot figure out why he cant pick up his roll.
I ask him if he wants me to put sugar and milk in his coffee. He says yes, but picks up the cup, with the lid still on, and tries to drink.
After several tries, I get him to put it down to take the lid off and 2 more tries before I get the sugar and milk in . I unwrap his food. he picks up the spoon, and tries to pick up food, but pushes it all over his tray, I cut it up with the fork, and he gets it onto the spoon, but can't maneuver it into his mouth and reverts to his fingers.
I am trying to get napkins into place to catch the overflow, and trying to convince him to try the spoon again.
Finally, he has had enough and gets up, walking in place again. Iask if he doesn't want to visit with me and he sits down, they lays back on the bed.
I place his pillow under his head, sit next to him and hold his hand. I remind him that I always said he had beautiful eyes, and that he should let the eye doctor get him glasses so he can see mine. he grabs my sleeve and stares at me. He says he likes my shirt. I tell him I got it in India when I was there. More blank stare.
Now up and walking again, I tell him I need to go home to make dinner for the boys.I ask for a kiss, and I get 2 ( and a grope).
Another day of watching him be ignored by the NH staff. I am so sad......
Monday, June 15, 2009
More fun for the caregiver
Saturday, I went to the bank to open an account for Craig's SSI allowance checks. First the woman tells me she cannot open an account without him there. Now it is necessary to explain
to her about hubby. I produce the Rep payee form from SS, and we painstakingly go thru the
long process of opening the account.
While we are ting, she mentions her Mother is caring for her Grandmother and is having a hard time finding help.I give her the web address and tell her about ALZ.org. She says she didn't know there was a website.
One and a half hours to open a checking account.What fun!
Back to the house to empty out the metal closet I promised my sister because my brother is coming to stay with her. After 4 hours of moving things around, it is finally ready.
Brother arrives, and soon Sis calls to ask if i have any Dawn. Yes, Why? Brothers cats have fleas, momma and 6 4 week old kittens.
Five adults and several hours later, we have bathed and dried them all after trips to my place for a box and a blanket.
Up Sunday, off to my co-worker's place for some plants she is going to give me. Stop for gas, $10
should last me a while. Follow directions, and end up in the middle of God's country, cell phone has no signal. Where the hell am I? Turn around and head back to town.Still no answer from co-worker. I think maybe I didn't go far enough.
Up the mountains again, only this time I see a sign for a town I KNOW is nowhere near where I am going. Finally get text from co-worker. Seems the "hump" she wrote down meant right then left......
Finally get there and get plants chat awhile, have to go, time to see hubby.
Stop at local market, by dinner from hot foods counter and a qt of chocolate milk.
Arrive at NH, hubby walking in hall as usual. "Hi, Craig!" Hi! " You keep telling me you miss my cooking, so I brought dinner and chocolate milk" Chocolate milk?
He follows the chocolate milk down the hall, telling me "Peg isn't here". I tell him I am Peg, and he asks when he is going to get his 3 hours with his kids.
I'm not sure if he thinks he is divorced (has happened a lot) or if he thinks he is in jail.
Off to the room.I pull the tray over, and after 3 tries , get Craig to sit down by pouring him chocolate milk. I set up the food and cut it up. Craig picks up the fork, and after a few tries puts it down in favor of the spoon. 3 bites, more choc milk. No more until you eat some food.
Tries to pick up meat with spoon, but pushes it around and goes to carrots and potatoes.
More choc milk? I am back in the days when I had to do this with my sons.......
Actually, that's the most I've seen him eat in a while, and he obliterated the chocolate milk.
Now that the choc milk is gone, he's off down the hall. The nurse asks him why he is leaving me behind. "I want her to go away!" My heart breaks again......
Monday I get a call from the Social worker. Craig has refused to allow his eye exam for glasses.
And she cannot find a Psychiatrist that will take his medical card.
We will have to send him to an out of town hospital with an AD unit to get his meds straightened out. I tell her whatever it takes to get him back to what little he was able to do on his own again.
I tell her that there is a new wave coming, of younger people with this disease, and that they need to prepare. New ways of caregiving for people still in their prime, still vital, with the challenges of EOAD.
Maybe if I tell enough people, they will listen, and the next family will not have to go thru the
same obstacle course we are facing.
Hell, I'd like to yell it from the roof top! Your time will come!
I tell her that
to her about hubby. I produce the Rep payee form from SS, and we painstakingly go thru the
long process of opening the account.
While we are ting, she mentions her Mother is caring for her Grandmother and is having a hard time finding help.I give her the web address and tell her about ALZ.org. She says she didn't know there was a website.
One and a half hours to open a checking account.What fun!
Back to the house to empty out the metal closet I promised my sister because my brother is coming to stay with her. After 4 hours of moving things around, it is finally ready.
Brother arrives, and soon Sis calls to ask if i have any Dawn. Yes, Why? Brothers cats have fleas, momma and 6 4 week old kittens.
Five adults and several hours later, we have bathed and dried them all after trips to my place for a box and a blanket.
Up Sunday, off to my co-worker's place for some plants she is going to give me. Stop for gas, $10
should last me a while. Follow directions, and end up in the middle of God's country, cell phone has no signal. Where the hell am I? Turn around and head back to town.Still no answer from co-worker. I think maybe I didn't go far enough.
Up the mountains again, only this time I see a sign for a town I KNOW is nowhere near where I am going. Finally get text from co-worker. Seems the "hump" she wrote down meant right then left......
Finally get there and get plants chat awhile, have to go, time to see hubby.
Stop at local market, by dinner from hot foods counter and a qt of chocolate milk.
Arrive at NH, hubby walking in hall as usual. "Hi, Craig!" Hi! " You keep telling me you miss my cooking, so I brought dinner and chocolate milk" Chocolate milk?
He follows the chocolate milk down the hall, telling me "Peg isn't here". I tell him I am Peg, and he asks when he is going to get his 3 hours with his kids.
I'm not sure if he thinks he is divorced (has happened a lot) or if he thinks he is in jail.
Off to the room.I pull the tray over, and after 3 tries , get Craig to sit down by pouring him chocolate milk. I set up the food and cut it up. Craig picks up the fork, and after a few tries puts it down in favor of the spoon. 3 bites, more choc milk. No more until you eat some food.
Tries to pick up meat with spoon, but pushes it around and goes to carrots and potatoes.
More choc milk? I am back in the days when I had to do this with my sons.......
Actually, that's the most I've seen him eat in a while, and he obliterated the chocolate milk.
Now that the choc milk is gone, he's off down the hall. The nurse asks him why he is leaving me behind. "I want her to go away!" My heart breaks again......
Monday I get a call from the Social worker. Craig has refused to allow his eye exam for glasses.
And she cannot find a Psychiatrist that will take his medical card.
We will have to send him to an out of town hospital with an AD unit to get his meds straightened out. I tell her whatever it takes to get him back to what little he was able to do on his own again.
I tell her that there is a new wave coming, of younger people with this disease, and that they need to prepare. New ways of caregiving for people still in their prime, still vital, with the challenges of EOAD.
Maybe if I tell enough people, they will listen, and the next family will not have to go thru the
same obstacle course we are facing.
Hell, I'd like to yell it from the roof top! Your time will come!
I tell her that
Friday, June 12, 2009
I used to love Fridays
Yesterday began with a call to work to tell them I would be late (again).
Wait for the government to start the business day, call the number on the new form asking my husband to provide MY insurance info. As usual, sent to voice mail. Leave a message asking her to return the call, and explaining that they are wasting time sending the mail to the nursing home, and can they please redirect it to our home address. Inform them that a court order is required to add hubby outside of open enrollment, plus a doctor's statement of health. Also tell her that pre-
existing conditions are not covered for 2 years.
Wait for return phone call.
In the meantime, place call to Head of nursing at the nursing home to ask about the new psychiatrist. Of course, she is not in, so I ask for the Social worker.
Apparently, they screen her calls now, so had to ID for the operator before she connected me.
I explained that the NS was not in, and I had not heard anything.She tells me that the Psychiatrist that I "requested" does not accept Medicaid patients. I tell her I did not request him, he was suggested by the NS. She asks do I have anyone else in mind.
I reply that he saw several when he was in the mental hospital, and give her the name of the one who actually bothered to speak to me BEFORE he evaluated my husband.
We will see if that works.
It is now time to return to work, but still no call from Medicaid, so I fill in the new form myself
with my work info, scan it into the computer and email the form to the address from the voicemail greeeting, along with an explanation of why I think it will not work.
Off to work.Stay later to make up some time.Can't make it all up, but having to take all this time off is seriously hurting my budget (or lack thereof).
I receive text from sis on her way to work telling me my brother in Georgia, will be moving in with her this weekend.
Don't know what happened, but then again, he hasn't really shared anything with me in a long time.
I need some friendly interaction, and I am concerned about one of my new found friends on the Alzheimer' s org chat room, so off I go.
After chatting for a while, my friend logs in and tells us her Dad passed away that morning.
Try to comfort her long distance, as we all do, and can't help thinking about our future. Another
loss to come after so many already passed. I should call my hubby's stepmother she has terminal throat cancer, and his brother to check on his Mom in her Alzheimer's unit.
While on line, phone rings. Fear strikes me! What has hubby done now?
It is Sis telling me they got sent home due to computer errors at work. Now will have to work her day off to catch up.
Finally feed cats and am ready for bed when it hits me, I was supposed to make food for a wedding potluck at work.
Oh, well another night with 4 hours of sleep........
Friday has gone pretty well so far, I goofed off a lot today.
Sister texts to ask if she can have the metal closet in my living room. Sure.
Arrive home. Tell kids to move speaker so the Closet can go to my sister. 1/2 hour of arguing over where to put it.
Tomorrow will be a busy day.
Think I will try not to think tonight............
Wait for the government to start the business day, call the number on the new form asking my husband to provide MY insurance info. As usual, sent to voice mail. Leave a message asking her to return the call, and explaining that they are wasting time sending the mail to the nursing home, and can they please redirect it to our home address. Inform them that a court order is required to add hubby outside of open enrollment, plus a doctor's statement of health. Also tell her that pre-
existing conditions are not covered for 2 years.
Wait for return phone call.
In the meantime, place call to Head of nursing at the nursing home to ask about the new psychiatrist. Of course, she is not in, so I ask for the Social worker.
Apparently, they screen her calls now, so had to ID for the operator before she connected me.
I explained that the NS was not in, and I had not heard anything.She tells me that the Psychiatrist that I "requested" does not accept Medicaid patients. I tell her I did not request him, he was suggested by the NS. She asks do I have anyone else in mind.
I reply that he saw several when he was in the mental hospital, and give her the name of the one who actually bothered to speak to me BEFORE he evaluated my husband.
We will see if that works.
It is now time to return to work, but still no call from Medicaid, so I fill in the new form myself
with my work info, scan it into the computer and email the form to the address from the voicemail greeeting, along with an explanation of why I think it will not work.
Off to work.Stay later to make up some time.Can't make it all up, but having to take all this time off is seriously hurting my budget (or lack thereof).
I receive text from sis on her way to work telling me my brother in Georgia, will be moving in with her this weekend.
Don't know what happened, but then again, he hasn't really shared anything with me in a long time.
I need some friendly interaction, and I am concerned about one of my new found friends on the Alzheimer' s org chat room, so off I go.
After chatting for a while, my friend logs in and tells us her Dad passed away that morning.
Try to comfort her long distance, as we all do, and can't help thinking about our future. Another
loss to come after so many already passed. I should call my hubby's stepmother she has terminal throat cancer, and his brother to check on his Mom in her Alzheimer's unit.
While on line, phone rings. Fear strikes me! What has hubby done now?
It is Sis telling me they got sent home due to computer errors at work. Now will have to work her day off to catch up.
Finally feed cats and am ready for bed when it hits me, I was supposed to make food for a wedding potluck at work.
Oh, well another night with 4 hours of sleep........
Friday has gone pretty well so far, I goofed off a lot today.
Sister texts to ask if she can have the metal closet in my living room. Sure.
Arrive home. Tell kids to move speaker so the Closet can go to my sister. 1/2 hour of arguing over where to put it.
Tomorrow will be a busy day.
Think I will try not to think tonight............
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Here we go again!
Today I went to see hubby at the NH. He was wandering the halls again as usual.
He didn't see me standing in the hall, but when I called to him, he knew who I was, and tried to turn around.The wrong direction, but he tried.
I put my arm around his shoulder and gave him a kiss, and he put his arm around my waist.
As we walked towards his room, his hand slid down until his hand was resting on my hip, and he asked if that was my cigarettes. I told him no, that was my behind. The CNA laughed, and we continued down the hall.
I told him I had brought him so Yoohoo (his favorite drink), and he walked down the hall with no resistance.
I got him into the room and sat him down, handing him the drink box and getting a good look at the shiner that is the remnants of his facial injury.
He tries to talk a little, words spilling out with no connection to each other, and grasps my hand.
I notice he is not falling over when he sits and seems more alert. Then his roommate informs me he has been spitting his meds at the nurses stating " Now you understand, I don't want to take them".
Funny, not one call from the NH telling me he is not taking his meds.
As I am sitting with him, the Psychiatrist who screamed at us last time he was in comes in to talk to the roommate. He hesitates at the end of the bed we are sitting on and leaves. Good!
I don't think he would win an argument with me again.
I have heard nothing from the nursing home concerning the new psychiatrist, and see no indication they have made any change to his treatment.
Upon arriving home after my visit, I find and envelope from the NH addressed to me with a note inside requesting that I "take care of this immediately".
In with the note is a form letter from Medicaid, addressed to my husband (who cannot
toilet himself, let alone read a form letter), telling him he has 10 days from the date on the form to report if someone in the household (I am assuming that would be me) has insurance thru work
that could be applied to him.
I look at the date, and the date has already passed....
I have insurance at work, but my husband has never been covered.I also know that since it is not open enrollment time, I must have a court order or significant life event (birth, death, divorce, adoption) in order to add him. I also know that pre-existing conditions are NOT covered for the first 2 years, and that the coverage I have from this Insurance company won't cover many of my BASIC needs.
I guess I will have to call tomorrow, and remind them that all communication must be done thru me, or there will not be any compliance.I will also have to go thru the long process of trying to explain my insurance situation, at which time I'm sure they will insist I try to have him added anyway.
And I am now waiting patiently for the inevitable phone call, since hubby is refusing his meds,
Stating they are having him removed again, or are sending him to the mental hospital.
It never ends..................
He didn't see me standing in the hall, but when I called to him, he knew who I was, and tried to turn around.The wrong direction, but he tried.
I put my arm around his shoulder and gave him a kiss, and he put his arm around my waist.
As we walked towards his room, his hand slid down until his hand was resting on my hip, and he asked if that was my cigarettes. I told him no, that was my behind. The CNA laughed, and we continued down the hall.
I told him I had brought him so Yoohoo (his favorite drink), and he walked down the hall with no resistance.
I got him into the room and sat him down, handing him the drink box and getting a good look at the shiner that is the remnants of his facial injury.
He tries to talk a little, words spilling out with no connection to each other, and grasps my hand.
I notice he is not falling over when he sits and seems more alert. Then his roommate informs me he has been spitting his meds at the nurses stating " Now you understand, I don't want to take them".
Funny, not one call from the NH telling me he is not taking his meds.
As I am sitting with him, the Psychiatrist who screamed at us last time he was in comes in to talk to the roommate. He hesitates at the end of the bed we are sitting on and leaves. Good!
I don't think he would win an argument with me again.
I have heard nothing from the nursing home concerning the new psychiatrist, and see no indication they have made any change to his treatment.
Upon arriving home after my visit, I find and envelope from the NH addressed to me with a note inside requesting that I "take care of this immediately".
In with the note is a form letter from Medicaid, addressed to my husband (who cannot
toilet himself, let alone read a form letter), telling him he has 10 days from the date on the form to report if someone in the household (I am assuming that would be me) has insurance thru work
that could be applied to him.
I look at the date, and the date has already passed....
I have insurance at work, but my husband has never been covered.I also know that since it is not open enrollment time, I must have a court order or significant life event (birth, death, divorce, adoption) in order to add him. I also know that pre-existing conditions are NOT covered for the first 2 years, and that the coverage I have from this Insurance company won't cover many of my BASIC needs.
I guess I will have to call tomorrow, and remind them that all communication must be done thru me, or there will not be any compliance.I will also have to go thru the long process of trying to explain my insurance situation, at which time I'm sure they will insist I try to have him added anyway.
And I am now waiting patiently for the inevitable phone call, since hubby is refusing his meds,
Stating they are having him removed again, or are sending him to the mental hospital.
It never ends..................
Monday, June 8, 2009
I raise Cain with the Nursing home
It's 8am, and my day starts with a phone call to Medicaid to tell them hubby was approved for
pre-emptive SSI.
Then a phone call to the nursing home social worker's voice mail. I said please call me about the incident with my husband on Friday, before I call someone else.
That is the fastest return phone call I have ever gotten!
Apologies all over the place for the incident and the Nurse's attitude. Now we have an eye appointment, and will have the Nursing supervisor call.
Missed the call, got a VM.Returned the call, "she's in a meeting". Right....
Called back 2 hours later and actually got her on the phone. More apologies....
Now we are going to find another psychiatrist to evaluate the meds, get him to the eye doctor, adjust his diet and address the nurse's attitude.
I nicely explained to the NS that I spent years in the medical fields before switching careers, and that I was not complaining to the nurse, just wanted them to evaluate the missed injuries.
Good for them (no liability), good for hubby, gets proper treatment, good for me, I don't worry.
I express my worry at 2 significant incidents in 2 weeks, and suddenly evryone agrees with having him reassessed.
Guess I'll have to take those "how to be a pain in the butt" classes I missed.
Now that I know what motivates them, I guess I will carry those phone numbers at all times.
And taking a picture and keeping a journal will help I'm sure.
Now let's see how the follow thru is.
pre-emptive SSI.
Then a phone call to the nursing home social worker's voice mail. I said please call me about the incident with my husband on Friday, before I call someone else.
That is the fastest return phone call I have ever gotten!
Apologies all over the place for the incident and the Nurse's attitude. Now we have an eye appointment, and will have the Nursing supervisor call.
Missed the call, got a VM.Returned the call, "she's in a meeting". Right....
Called back 2 hours later and actually got her on the phone. More apologies....
Now we are going to find another psychiatrist to evaluate the meds, get him to the eye doctor, adjust his diet and address the nurse's attitude.
I nicely explained to the NS that I spent years in the medical fields before switching careers, and that I was not complaining to the nurse, just wanted them to evaluate the missed injuries.
Good for them (no liability), good for hubby, gets proper treatment, good for me, I don't worry.
I express my worry at 2 significant incidents in 2 weeks, and suddenly evryone agrees with having him reassessed.
Guess I'll have to take those "how to be a pain in the butt" classes I missed.
Now that I know what motivates them, I guess I will carry those phone numbers at all times.
And taking a picture and keeping a journal will help I'm sure.
Now let's see how the follow thru is.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
One right after the other
June 07
I always imagined that Craig and I would always be together, but the universe has a way of throwing curve balls at you.
It has been only a few months since I had to force him into an evaluation, and learned that he has EOAD.
And advanced at that.
After a month in the mental hospital for evaluation and meds, I had to place him in a nursing home.
First it was very hard to find one that would take him. They are not set up for people this young with the severe impairment
stage he is at.Then there were the everyday calls to tell me that he just wasn't co-operating.
He was only there a few days, and assaulted a nurse and tried to escape.They had him remove by police, who took him to the local
hospital. After 2 days of not being able to find out anything and calling everyone I could think of, I went to the nursing home to talk to
the staff, and Voila! There he was wandering the halls!
Not one person thought to call me and say he had been returned.The Psychiatrist added meds to "calm him down".
Which translates to making him a zombie.When I asked to have the meds reduced, I was told it was for "everyone's good".
He has since fallen and had to have his wrist xrayed, started walking bent sideways, stopped being able to toilet himself, stopped eating, and "walked into"
a patient lift face first.
He is not showered or shaved, and his dentures were so nasty, i took them out and cleaned them myself.
I asked the social worker, pre-admission to have him examined for eyeglasses, as he had broken his a while ago....
Still waiting.
I asked her to find another facility more equipped to handle him, but only got screwed around by the other nursing home.
Surely people deserve to be treated better than this when they are already suffering so much! Since when does a disease rob you of
the right to live with dignity and care?
And since when has it been alright for the people entrusted with our most precious possessions, our loved ones, to treat them
as if they were an irritation?
I have always been an extremely polite, friendly, non-confrontational person, but this is changing me in ways that I would never have believed.
And the lack of support from former friends and family is hurtful too. Just a call to ask how he is doing would be a great support.
If you don't know what to say or do, just listen! And learning about the disease will help you to help us, as well as helping you to avoid the
heartbreak we are experiencing because we waited too long.
Until next time, become informed.And tell someone you care!
Peg
It has been only a few months since I had to force him into an evaluation, and learned that he has EOAD.
And advanced at that.
After a month in the mental hospital for evaluation and meds, I had to place him in a nursing home.
First it was very hard to find one that would take him. They are not set up for people this young with the severe impairment
stage he is at.Then there were the everyday calls to tell me that he just wasn't co-operating.
He was only there a few days, and assaulted a nurse and tried to escape.They had him remove by police, who took him to the local
hospital. After 2 days of not being able to find out anything and calling everyone I could think of, I went to the nursing home to talk to
the staff, and Voila! There he was wandering the halls!
Not one person thought to call me and say he had been returned.The Psychiatrist added meds to "calm him down".
Which translates to making him a zombie.When I asked to have the meds reduced, I was told it was for "everyone's good".
He has since fallen and had to have his wrist xrayed, started walking bent sideways, stopped being able to toilet himself, stopped eating, and "walked into"
a patient lift face first.
He is not showered or shaved, and his dentures were so nasty, i took them out and cleaned them myself.
I asked the social worker, pre-admission to have him examined for eyeglasses, as he had broken his a while ago....
Still waiting.
I asked her to find another facility more equipped to handle him, but only got screwed around by the other nursing home.
Surely people deserve to be treated better than this when they are already suffering so much! Since when does a disease rob you of
the right to live with dignity and care?
And since when has it been alright for the people entrusted with our most precious possessions, our loved ones, to treat them
as if they were an irritation?
I have always been an extremely polite, friendly, non-confrontational person, but this is changing me in ways that I would never have believed.
And the lack of support from former friends and family is hurtful too. Just a call to ask how he is doing would be a great support.
If you don't know what to say or do, just listen! And learning about the disease will help you to help us, as well as helping you to avoid the
heartbreak we are experiencing because we waited too long.
Until next time, become informed.And tell someone you care!
Peg
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