The Birthday came....and went

For me , birthdays are special.

Being born on Christmas Eve, and having my birthday forgotten, ignored, combined with Christmas, makes it a special event to me.

I spent the weekend plotting and planning, worrying what I could give for a gift that he would be able to appreciate. I also tried to decide whether to take the time off work to spend the day with him, on what might be the last birthday he will remember. I tried in vain to talk the boys into
visiting their Dad.

At the last minute, I called work to tell them I would not be in, and gathered up the gifts, went to the bakery, and headed off to the nursing home, pleased with myself that I was going to make his birthday special.

When I arrived, Craig was asleep, which gave me time to decorate the room and the pie and cake I brought. I also brought the camcorder, thinking I would take videos of him opening the gifts and smiling.

Wrong again! When he woke, he had no idea who I was. I asked if he wanted pie, no problem there! His roommate and I sang "Happy Birthday", as they ate the pie, the Craig had cake, chocolate milk and Peach smoothie. I tried to interest him in the gifts, but he just laughed that
I'm confused laugh, as I pulled the presents out and showed them to him.

Even the cards from the boys and me were stared at and dropped. I tried to give him a kiss and
no co-operation....guess he thought his wife would get mad.

The aid came in and introduced herself. She said he tells her everyday that his wife is coming.
I tell her it's too bad he doesn't know she's there......

He's off and running again! I clean up, after unsuccessfully trying to get even the nursing home staff to have cake with us., tuck my tail between my legs and retreat.

On the way down the hall, Craig looks at me and tells me my waist is too big....add insult to injury.....

At home, I sit on his bed, look around and lay down and cry myself to sleep. I can only imagine what he must think, since his "wife" didn't come for his birthday.

Not that our marriage was perfect, but before this disease, we did pretty good. There has to something when you've been together 36 years. I miss my friend as much, maybe more than my husband.